Ye Olde, Softball, Christmas Carol.
I will borrow from the words of the literary master himself, Charles
Dickens, in describing todays AL game between team Scrooge and team Cratchit. I
have endeavored in this ghostly little write up to tell a tale and humor my
readers. May the spirit of Christmas visit every house and softball field. May
all the ball players wives, out there, show the spirit of Christmas. (Hint) You
might consider gift wrapping a new bat and leaving it under the tree for your
husband. Nothing say’s Merry Christmas, to a softball player, like the words
Miken. I hope my tormenting rendition of Dickens’ tireless classic does not
cause the gifted author to haunt me, like Jacob Marley haunted
Scrooge.
Cast of Characters for the visiting, Scrooge team: Rivera, Witmer,
Edwards, Smith, Ayers, Vandenberg, Constantine, JD, Fabian, Strait and
Merritt.
Cast of Characters for the Home, Cratchit team: Gonzalez, Farinas,
Laffoon, Matta, Pepin, Benson, Ray Roy, Coffman, Bocelli, McPartlan and
Hawbaker.
The vintage Dickens’ novel starts with these words, “Marley was dead to
begin with. There was no doubt about that.” In this softball tale, so was team
Cratchit, dead, without a doubt. We died at the plate and in the field. There
were not many big hits, on offense. On defense, drop balls haunted the team like
the spirit of Christmas past.
Who
was to blame for the Cratchit team’s wretched state? Ebenezer, JD Davis, thats
who! It was JD, the tight fisted pitcher, who squeezed every out from the Home
team’s lineup. For Ebenezer Davis, giving up a run was “Humbug”. The game was
7-0, after 3 innings of play. For Team
Cratchit, “we wore the chains we forged in the field, we made them link by link,
yard by yard”, just like Jacob Marley had done. Our mistakes would make even
Scrooge’s mentor, pleasant old Fezziwig, sick with grief. We had reason to ponder Dicken’s words, “No
space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused”. In other
words, missed opportunities with the glove and the bat will kill a
team.
Team Scrooge were like misers; they grabbed all the runs for themselves
and would not share any of the gold. Witmer, Edwards, Smith, Ayers, Constantine
and Davis were responsible for putting 5 shillings into the safe, in the first
inning. It would have been charitable for the Scrooge team to share some of
their wealth in this game. However, you could almost hear them say the words of
Ebenezer Scrooge himself, “If they would rather die, . . . they had better do
it, and decrease the surplus population.” Although, being softball players,
their quote would ring out something like this; “If they would rather lose the
game, they had better do it and decrease the surplus
innings.”
The spirit of Christmas past must have visited team Scrooge, because they
let up in the 4th inning, team Cratchit staged a small come back.
Just like Tiny Tim, who eventually gained use of his legs, Tiny Nick Matta
regained the use of his legs that had failed him for years. Nick ran for a
triple in the inning. Pepin, Benson, Coffman Borelli and McPartlin all added
hits, which led to a 4 run rally. After 4 innings the score was team Scrooge: 9-
team Cratchit: 4.
Team Scrooge would not give up their lead even after the ghost of current
innings came to visit them. Their wealth grew and they would not share, not even
“a pence”. By the bottom of the 7th inning, they lead 20-6. It was
then that the ghost of future innings appeared and said, “it’s almost 11 AM and
you will need to stop playing soon”. Team Scrooge had a change of heart. They
watched as team Cratchit scored 3 runs, in the bottom of the 7th ,
then asked them if they wanted to bat in flip/flop mode. Tiny Nick Matta said;
“God Bless us, everyone, that’s enough softball for today” and the game ended
then and there. Final Score: Team Scrooge: 20- Team Cratchit:
9.
As we approach the holidays we would do well to keep a few of Dickens’
quotes close to our hearts.
“For it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at
Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child
Himself.”
“And it was always said of him,(Scrooge), that he knew how to keep
Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said
of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every
One!”
WP: Davis
Leading Hitters:
Rivera: 4/5.
Witmer: 4/5.
Edwards: 3/3 with a walk and a sac.
Smith: 3 / 5 with a double.
Ayers: 4/4 with a walk.
Constantine: 3/ 4 with a triple.
JD: 3/4.
Farinas: 3 / 4 with two doubles.
Matta: 3/ 4 with two triples.
Pepin: 4/4.
Benson: 3/4.
Coffman: 2/ 3.
Borelli: 3/ 4 with a double.
McPartlan: 3/4.
Written by: Nick Matta.
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