Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Comedy is in the eye of the beholder, WHSS, AL write up, 4/16
The Guzmobile
There have been many famous teams throughout the history of entertainment. The Marx Brothers, Blues Brothers, Martin and Lewis, Crosby and Hope, the 3 Amigos (Martin, Chase and Short), Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy and the Three Stooges (nyuck, nyuck), just to name a few.  We had a fun time as always playing softball at WHSS, on 4/16, in the AL. I will introduce to you a new entertainment team, The Guz Brothers.
Guz Brothers, Visitors: Guzrivera, Guzrad, Lou Guzman, Guzmatta, Guzshirer, Guzshultz, Gusferrade, Gu(z)tenburger, Guzjacobson, Guzpep, Guzzo and Jose Guzman.
The Marx Brothers, Home: Hicks, Hamilton, Netzel, Vaccaro, Keller, JD, Witmer, D’Herin, Stevens, Cobb and Alwin.
The Guz Brothers played like they were on a mission from God. We jumped off to a 12-1 lead. We were riding the Guzmobile to a gig on victory lane; with spectacular defense and pitching along with solid hitting. Instead of crusin’, we went guzin’. It wasn’t until the 5th inning the Marx Brothers made their mark, scoring 6 runs and tightening up the score. “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read”. (Groucho Marx). The softball version of the Marx brothers read the hitting manual in the 5th inning. Stevens, Cobb, Alwin, Hicks, Netzel, Vacarro and Keller all contributed to a big inning. Trouble is a dog must have eaten the team’s book on hitting after the inning ended. The score after 5 full innings; Guz Brothers 12- Marx Brothers 7.
In the 6th, 7th and 8th innings the Guz Brothers turned into the Bruise Brothers and put some hurt on the ball. Jake: “How often does the train go by?”  Elwood: “So often that you won't even notice it.” The Guz brothers were making a lot of noise. Pep, Guzzo, Rivera, Rad, L. Guzman, Matta, Shirer all reached base in the 6th, good for 4 runs. Ferrande, Guttenburger, Pep, Guzzo, J. Guzman (triple), Rivera, Rad and L. Guman all swung a happy bat in the 7th, good for 5 runs. Matta, Shirer, Ferrande, Guttenberger, Jacobson, Pep and Guzzo helped the team to another 5 runs, in the 8th. “ We've got to speed things up in this hotel. Chef, if a guest orders a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he orders a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he orders a one-minute egg, give him a chicken and let him work it out for himself.” (Groucho, in A Night in Casablanca). After 8 innings, with the score 26-8, we needed to speed up the ending to the game and the Marx brothers got to bat again, while the Guz Brothers stayed on the field, without hitting, (Flip Flop Rule).
Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause." Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no Santa Claus". (A Night at the Opera). There was no Santa Claus for the Marx Brothers team, no bag full of gifts or in this case runs. They went down quietly in the 9th. Final Score: Guz Brothers 26- Marx Brothers 8.
“Sure we shadowed him. Tuesday we sit outside his house all day, but he no home. Wednesday we went to the ball game, he fool us and no show up. Thrusday he go to the ball game, but we fool him and we no show up. Friday it was a double header, nobody show up, so we stay home and listened to it on the radio.” Chico, in Duck Soup.
 Hope to see you all on Friday at the ballpark.
Guz Brothers’ Bruisers:
Rivera: 4/5
Rad: 3/5 with two doubles.
L. Guzman: 4/5 with two doubles.

Matta: 5/5 with a triple.
Shirer: 4/5.
Ferrande: 3/5.
Guttenberger: 3/5.
Pepin: 4/5.
Guzzo: 5/5.
Marx Brothers Who Made Their Mark:
Netzel: 4/4 with a double.
Stevens: 3/4.
Written By: Nick Matta
Who Is On First (partial)
Bud Abbott: I say Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know’s on third.
Lou Costello: Are you the manager?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: And you don’t know the fellows’ names?
Bud Abbott: Well I should.
Lou Costello: Well then who’s on first?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: I mean the fellow’s name.
Bud Abbott: Who.
Lou Costello: The guy on first.
Bud Abbott: Who.
Lou Costello: The first baseman.
Bud Abbott: Who.
Lou Costello: The guy playing…
Bud Abbott: Who is on first!
Lou Costello: I’m asking YOU who’s on first.
Bud Abbott: That’s the man’s name.
Lou Costello: That’s who’s name?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Bud Abbott: That’s it.
Lou Costello: That’s who?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Lou Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Bud Abbott: Certainly.
Lou Costello: Who’s playing first?
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Bud Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Lou Costello: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name on first base.
Bud Abbott: Who.
Lou Costello: The guy that gets…
Bud Abbott: That’s it.
Lou Costello: Who gets the money…
Bud Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Lou Costello: Who’s wife?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Bud Abbott: What’s wrong with that?
Lou Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Bud Abbott: Who.
Lou Costello: The guy.
Bud Abbott: Who.
Lou Costello: How does he sign…
Bud Abbott: That’s how he signs it.
Lou Costello: Who?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Lou Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.
Bud Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Lou Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.
Bud Abbott: Who’s on first.
Lou Costello: One base at a time!
Bud Abbott: Well, don’t change the players around.
Lou Costello: I’m not changing nobody!
Bud Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Lou Costello: I’m only asking you, who’s the guy on first base?
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: Ok.
Bud Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
Lou Costello: What’s the guy’s name on first base?
Bud Abbott: No. What is on second.
Lou Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.
Bud Abbott: Who’s on first.
Lou Costello: I don’t know.
Bud Abbott: He’s on third, we’re not talking about him.
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