Winter Haven Senior Softball

Having Fun Playing Ball In Winter Haven 
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present." — Joan Rivers

We take a light-hearted approach to playing ball, just have fun is our mantra. With that in mind I will take a humorous look at the AL game, on 5/4, at WHSS.

Team Humor, Visitors: Rad, Guttenberger, Reagen, Hearn, JD, Matta, Skidmore, Pope and Wells.

Team Vaudeville, Home: Dampier, Shirer, Book, Guzman, Bruce, Zelazny, Crowell, Vandenberg, Capozzi and Nye.

Rodney Dangerfield said his neighborhood was so tough that if you had both your ears, you were considered a sissy. In today’s game things were so tough if you did not get 5 hits, you might get benched. A quick look at the leading hitters shows you that there was plenty of action on the base paths. How would you answer this riddle? One team has both a seven-run inning and a six-run inning, that’s 13 runs in just two innings. They were the winning team, right? Wrongo.

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." — Bob Hope  Team Vaudeville was the team that did not look like they needed a loan from the RBI bank, however their 13 runs, in two innings, were sandwiched in between 4 scoreless innings. They were like a giraffe with a sore throat, there were lots of places they were hurting.

By the 7^th inning Team Humor had an ice cream truck attitude, we were in Good Humor. We had a 25-16 lead, after 6 innings of play. Team Vaudeville should have paid notice to the old proverb, “when you throw dirt in the air, you lose ground.” They must have been throwing dirt in the air by using a backhoe because they lost a good deal of ground through six innings.  Team Humor had a jolly, good time at the plate, scoring 4-5-5-4-3 and 4 runs, through the first 6 innings. That included a remarkable feat at the plate by Eddie Hearn, who hit three triples, in three consecutive innings. One in the 4^th, one in the 5^th and one in the 6^th inning. Not to be outdone, Pete Guttenberger had a fantastic catch in the game, coming in from deep left field to run down a high fly hit to shallow left. Pete also hit a HR.  "The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up." — Jay Leno . Eddie and Pete helped rob the Vaudeville team of a victory with their hitting and defensive play.

The Home team had three innings left to make up their deficit. A doctor gave a man six month to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months - Henny Youngman.  It doesn’t work that way in WHSS, you only get nine innings to pay the bill, unless the game is tied. In the last three innings of the game team Vaudeville fell off the stage, only scoring two more runs, they ran out of innings. They did not have enough hits left in their bats to pay the bill. --The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."  Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"  The final score was Team Humor: 28- Team Vaudeville: 18.

The following players did not joke around when it came to getting on base.

Visitors:

Rad: 6/7 with a double.

Guttenberger: 6/7 with a HR.

Reagen: 4/7 with a HR.

Hearn: 5/7 with three triples.

Matta: 7/7.

Skidmore: 5/7.

Home:

Shirer: 4/6 with a double.

Book: 6/6.

Guzman: 3/6 with a double.

Bruce: 3/6.

Zelazny: 4/6 with a triple.

Vandenberg: 3/ 4 and a SF.

Capozzi: 3/5.

Q: How is a softball team similar to a good pancake?
A: They both need a good batter.

Written by Nick Matta