Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Tuesday, April 3rd
Play The Hand You Are Dealt
We cut the cards to determine teams in the AL, on 4/3. The idea was floated by Al Guzzo, the league is experimenting with it, for choosing which players will play on a team. The sides were chosen by either drawing a red card; heart, or diamond; or a back card; spade, or club. You might say we went Vegas style, in Winter Haven. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens in WHSS, you can read about here, uncensored, well almost uncensored.
Card Sharks, Red, Visitors: Rivera, Hamilton, Shirer, Jacobson, Book, Hicks, Zelazny, Reagen, Guttenberg, Knox, Bancroft and Pope.
Five Card Studs, Black, Home: Rad, Matta, Guzman, Keller, JD, Busch, Essenmacher, Gazarek, Vanderhyde, Guzzo, Pepin, Coffman.
When I think of playing cards, I think of the following song. You can either sing along, or just continue reading.
“On a warm summer's eve. On a train bound for nowhere. I met up with the gambler. We were both too tired to sleep. So we took turns a-starin', out the window at the darkness. The boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.
He said, Son, I've made a life, out of readin' people's faces. Knowin' what the cards were, by the way they held their eyes. So if you don't mind me sayin', I can see you're out of aces. For a taste of your whiskey, I'll give you some advice.
You got to know when to holdem, know when to foldem. Know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin', when the dealin's done.”
The lyrics are a little different in WHSS. My apologies to Kenny Rogers.
“On a warm Spring morning, in a game that didn’t matter. I met up with some ballplayers. We were all very old, but did compete. So we took our turns a hittin’, on a dirt field in the bright light. Kept us from our boredom and gave us a chance to shine. 
Coach said, boys I made a livin’, out of reading other players. Knowin’ where to defend a hitter, findin’ the open hole.  So, if you don’t mind me sayin’, I can see we need some aces. For a taste of your last Gatorade, I’ll give you some advice.  
You got to know where to hit em, know how to field em, know when to take a pitch, know when to run.  You never count on a lead, when fieldin’ or hittin’. There be time enough to celebrate, when the game is done.”
The game started out with both teams playing it close to the vest. The Card Sharks threw two pair on the velvet, scoring 2 runs in both the 1st and 2nd innings. Hamilton, (double), Shirer, Book and Hicks cashed in during the first inning, by getting hits and producing runs. Reagen, (double), Knox, Bancroft, and Pope threw their chips in the pot in the 2nd inning. The 5 Card Studs came back, with four of a kind, in the 2nd inning. Keller, (double), JD, Gazarek, Vanderhyde, (triple), Guzzo and Pep went all in, with hits. After 2 innings the score was 4-4.
The Card Sharks anted up in the 3rd inning, scoring 4 runs of their own. Jacobson, Book, Hicks and Zelazny all singled. Bobby Reagen hit the jackpot, with a bases loaded triple, to clear the bases. The 5 Card Studs refused to fold in the bottom of the inning, we answered back with 3 runs. Hits by Rad, Matta, Guzman and Keller, as well as a SF, by Busch, kept us in the game. After 3 innings, it was 8-7, in favor of the Sharks.
“Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead”, Jackie Robinson. No one was quitting this softball game, there was still a lot of fight in the dogs. This brings to mind the kitsch art painting, “Dogs Playing Poker”, which was actually a series of 16 paintings. The artist was Cassius Marcellus Coolidge, his early paintings were for cigar boxes. One painting featured a dog cheating, passing a card. At this point I am going to call out Larry Book for cheating. How else could he have 6 aces, going 6/6, in a game of five card draw. Back in the ol west they would find a high tree limb and give the player a short rope and a quick stop, for having 6 aces. Donny Witmer will tell you they still take that recourse today, in Tennessee. Of course, I’m joking, nice hitting, Book.
The dog/ card players, for the Card Sharks, sniffed out a run in the 4th inning. The 5 Card stud team responded by throwing two chips into the kitty. After 4 innings the score was tied, 9-9.
The last five innings the Card Sharks loaded the deck. They outscored the 5 Card Studs’ team 17-10, over that span. The Shark’s team cashed in their chips, after 9 innings. The final score was Card Sharks: 26- Five Card Studs: 19. We should have been playing Blackjack, then the Home Team would have won, using that score.
Blue Chip Players, For The Card Sharks:
Hamilton: 4/6, with 3 doubles and a triple.
Shirer: 3/6, with a double.
Jacobson: 3/6.
Book: 6/6, with a double.
Hicks: 4/6.
Zelazny: 4/5.
Reagen: 5/5, with a double and a triple.
Bancroft: 3/5, with a double.
Knox: 3/5.
Pope: 4/5.
Jose Rivera hit a HR for the Card Sharks.
High Rollers, For The Five Card Studs:
Matta: 3/5.
Guzman 2/4, with a SF and a double.
Keller: 4/5, with a double.
JD: 3/5.
Busch: 3/ 4 and a SF.
Gazarek: 4/5.
Vanderhyde: 4/5, with two triples.
Pepin: 2/4, with a triple.
Thanks to Joe D’Herin for umpiring the game.
Some parting poker, pearls of wisdom.
“Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.”  Jack London.
“Every hand’s a winner, every hand’s a loser.” Kenny Rogers.
Written by Nick Matta

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